The Monday Nut

The other night I was flipping through the channels and saw the beginning of an interview on O’Reilly with Dick Morris, former advisor to the Clintons and the man considered to be America’s most ruthless political consultant.  After about thirty seconds, my brain was scrambling to answer the question “who does he remind me of?”

Ten seconds later, my wife (who often thinks I asked out loud but is actually reading my mind) blurted out the answer.

“He looks like Hermey, the elf who wanted to be a dentist.”

Schmack!  It’s hard to explain, but if you remember from the Rudolph animation, Hermey only talked out of the lower left quadrant of his mouth.  It was the only part of his mouth that really moved, and when I realized my wife (who is much more intelligent than I are) was right I burst out laughing.

References to the “Misfit, Nitwit” song aside, I have a real problem trusting people who talk out the side of their mouth. It’s understandable with some type of ailment, but with him I think it is a case of his mouth stuck in a sideways whisper.

Maybe he should have listened to his mother…

“Dickie! Your face is going to freeze that way!”

I have firsthand experience being on the ass-end of a liberal’s ire.  And when I say on the ass-end, I mean Klingon’s and all.  A few years ago, I was tasked with editing and publishing a book by a former scientist of the Lawrence Livermore National Lab in California.  The book was called “Challenging Environmental Mythology: Wrestling Zeus” and my boss (owner of the company) thought it would be a “fun project” for me.

Well, there was someone in the publishing house I worked for who didn’t think it would be fun at all.  In fact, from day one this person was on the attack. They expected that I would fall right in line and follow their lead on everything, making sure that this book (a criticism of environmental hysteria) would do what they wanted it to do.

I defended the book, defended the author’s research, and took my time ensuring that nothing was said that could not be cited in journal articles, books, or other reliable sources. When it was obvious I was not going to conform to this person’s liberal ideology, I was taken to the rack.

In a letter to the entire staff of two “sister” companies (of which 75% had no idea this book even existed) I was called the following: a liar, a cheat, and an idiot.  I was going to destroy the reputations of both companies with my selfish ignorance.  This was literally a three printed page email that tore me several new orifices…in a public forum.

So, I know the liberal way.  Their way of dealing with people of differing opinion is to say “you are wrong…and you are stupid to boot.” But the worst part I think is that this diatribe of baseless accusations was left unpunished, and eventually resulted in the company pulling support for the book.

In the end, it burned through its first printing in less than 12 months (a record for the publisher) and was never reprinted.  The rights were returned to a very disappointed and disaffected author.

So, who in this story was the stupid one?  Was it me?  Was it the liberal? Or was it those who let it all happen without standing firm on their decisions?

You decide…

I admire loyalty. It is a trait found throughout the animal kingdom, and perhaps one that we as homo sapiens need to practice a bit more. However, as with anything, blind loyalty can be downright dangerous.  There comes a point when one truly has to “Throw Momma from the Train.” So, here’s a few rules I think would be helpful in creating and running an administration that Americans can not only respect, but trust.

1. Kill all the lawyers
   1. Just kidding.  A good rule in life, but overall just too darned hard to administer and God knows we don’t need another oversight committee.
2. Punish Screwups
   1. There must be full accountability for any mistake, any impropriety, that takes place within the hallowed halls of government.  There must be an often vicious mentality of “screw up once and you are G.O.N.E.” Of course there is slander, and it is often vicious and without evidentiary support. See #4
   2. New “employees” must be forced to walk through the virtual morgue of past failures as a warning that impropriety will not be tolerated in any shape or form. Imagine how careful each one will be making even the smallest decisions.  Remember, “small decisions” inside the Beltway can cost taxpayers billions.
   3. Ensure that the press is very aware of the trail of bodies.  Proper management means amputating the dysfunctional parts of an organization and sending them to the four corners of the country as a symbol of your intention to keep your house in order.
3. Don’t solicit sex in airport bathrooms or get hummers in the Oval Office.
   1. There are only two thrones in America… You don’t screw around in either one of them without getting shit on your hands.
4. Kill all the reporters.
   1. Okay…maybe not kill.  But, shackle them to the wall and beat them senseless.  It is too easy for them to take it upon themselves to be cop, jury, and judge and they have far too much power under the guise of the First Amendment rights.  I am not a Constitutional lawyer (Thank God, see Rule #1) but something has to give.  So, if any member of the press is found to have fabricated evidence, or written a story “as fact” based on slander from another party, their press privileges and access to government is immediately revoked.  They need to get their facts straight and be “reporters” not “activists” with a press pass.
   2. Addendum: The Star and National Enquirer are exempt from this rule.  That’s just darn good storytelling.

In the end, yes this is a criticism of the Bush administration.  I don’t need to name names, or point out all the “friends” who have in the end become disappointments to the President.  Yet, he did stick by them to the bitter end…to his ultimate detriment.

So I’m watching the O’Reilly Factor, and his guest Kevin Nadal (of NYC), who has created a petition drive for the purpose of getting ABC to apologize for a disparaging remark made during an episode of Desparate Housewives about the quality of medical education in the Phillipines.  Teri Hatcher’s character was being examined by a doctor she seems to think is unqualified to make a diagnosis, and she made a comment about looking for a diploma from a school in the Phillipines.

The horror…

Anyway, this gentleman was very intelligent, and made his case without coming off as a nutcase.  He said that he was concerned that since Filipinos are underrepresented in the American media, that even one disparaging remark could make people think less of them.

OK, I’m with you, Kevin…I don’t really agree that this is an issue, but I’m not branding you either.

BUT THEN! You said, “because there can be people, like, in the South or Midwest who don’t even know what a Filipino is and this will really affect how they think about Filipinos.”

I would agree that there are many Americans that might not know a Filipino from a Philly Cheese Steak. But, you insinuated that a specific part of the population is uneducated…  I guess that your time living in New York City has exposed you to the Northeast arrogance that “red states” are full of hicks and idiots, and in trying to make your case against disparaging a specific group, you disparaged another.

Stereotyping goes both ways, Kevin.  You blew it.  Just because you disparaged a group that is considered “white” doesn’t make it OK.