The Monday Nut

When I was a kid, I used to go with my family to visit my grandparents and uncle in Addison, NY. Now, for the uninitiated, Addison is about 20 minutes past Corning and it was the closest, most civilized town to where my relatives lived.  They actually lived in a place called Borden, which believe it or not…has yet to be mapped by Google Earth.  Anyway, this place was as close to East Bumf**k as you possibly can find.  I once saw an East Bumf**kian up off Hurd Hill Road, but I never had the guts to strike up a conversation and I wasn’t sure if my Bumf**knese was up to snuff.

Right up Hurd Hill Road, not 200 yards away from the homestead was a crick.  It’s most amazing feature was the massive 20′ diameter pipe underneath Hurd Hill Road that was put in to shepherd the crick from one place to another.  Many good times were spent in that pipe, swimming and fishing in that crick.  I even got my first “not a cousin” kiss in that crick.

Now, for those of you who have never heard of a crick…  One of my favorite writers; Patrick McManus provides the perfect definition in his article “How to Fish a Crick.” One of the easiest ways to understand the difference is summed up in one line:

“A single cow equipped only with determination and fairly good aim can in a mater of hours transform a perfectly good creek into a crick.”

If you’ve ever had a coffee can full of worms and a place to use them, this is your Shakespeare. If you’ve never had a coffee can full of worms or a place to use them…I am sorry for you.  You have missed out on some of the best experiences life can offer.