The Monday Nut

It’s late January.  I’m sick of the cold, I’m sick of the snow, and I’m sick of politics.  I will admit to anyone that I was once a real go-getter when it came to blasting away at liberals, and I still harbor some serious ill-will, but I actually have to sit and wonder what would happen if we could all just stop sounding like a bunch of schoolkids.

How dysfunctional can we get, when each election cycle becomes more rancorous, and we welcome the opportunity to watch it?  It’s just another episode of Survivor (or Lost, depends on who you support).  Outwit, Outplay, Outlast.  Your prize?  The hardest friggin job in the whole stinking world, and constant criticism from a bunch of loons crazy enough to want your job, and/or a bunch of pusses who would piss themselves trying to decide which desk to bring to the Oval Office.

I’m getting tired of hearing how liberals are all socialists, and how conservatives are all evangelical lunatics.  I’m also damn tired that liberalism and conservatism are the only games in town.  It’s like watching the Brewers and the Royals play every game of the season. It’s all the same shit I heard on the playgrounds in elementary school. Our election cycle is nothing but a series of taunts, gotcha moments, and outright fisticuffs.  And, unfortunately, the playground monitors are tossing in the brass knuckles and chains and yelling for more.  Once the cycle is over, and a winner has been announced… Then things really start to get nasty. 

Let’s look at government as a business for a second.  We’ve all worked in dysfunctional organizations before (or still do). How does anything get done?  How does your product or service ever get to market?  It doesn’t!  We all point fingers and laugh at other governments around the world. ”Those morons!”  But, I would say that when your Congress and your President have only 20% approval ratings, the only thing keeping you from being overrun by your residents is the fact that they are, for the most part (and in comparison to failing governments) well off.  Translate: Fat and Happy.

I keep hearing from Libertarians and Conservatives (and have said in the past) “it’s a good thing government can’t get anything done.”  Well, maybe it is.  Then again, if we could all stop squawking and strutting for a bit, perhaps we could actually solve some problems.  In discussions, as soon as you make a derogatory comment, the discussion is over and nothing gets accomplished.  It’s all the exact same “I know you are, but what am I?” crap.  Frankly, in my book, Sean Hannity gets the same grade as Barbra Streisand.  Bill Maher and Bill O-Reilley are the same too.  They’re all just a-holes playing for the camera.  We’ve let the loons take over our government, our media, our lives.

Look, I know I’m rambling, but for Christ’s sake…we’re the richest country in the world, and certainly not just in capitalist terms.  Yet, we’ve become just a bunch of little shits who spend all their time complaining about the other little shits on the other side of the street. We don’t care if we lie, we don’t care if we hurt.  We don’t care if our lies hurt, as long as our side wins.  We don’t even care if people who were once our colleagues and friends get dragged under the truck and crushed.

Dammit.  I’ve grown very sick and tired of it all.  I don’t want to play the game anymore.  It’s lost the lustre for me.  Truthfully, I doubt very much (for the first time in 22 years) that I will be present at the voting booths this year.  I really believe, it just doesn’t matter, because whatever the choice…they’ll be too busy doing other things to actually get something done.

Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning.

The next person who says the word “change” gets a smack…nay, a slap.

Presidential elections aren’t fun for me anymore.  I feel like one of those hot dogs that have the cheese in them.  Stuffed with stuff that don’t belong, and against my will and better judgment.  However, I’m still gonna make a couple comments.  Backstory is that I spent the last three days in the car, driving 1800 miles and listening to every pundit that exists in the current world.

• The only person that reminds me of Ronald Wilson Reagan is Barack Obama.
  • Conservatives shudder and shake their heads.  I kept hearing Sean Hannity begging for someone in the Republican primaries to start acting like Reagan, but the only guy in the race who is running his campaign like the Great One is Obama.  Even though his message is about modification, it is a positive message that also continues to claim that the United States is a great country.  People like positive…It’s so much better than all the other messages of doom and gloom (unless they become President). Obama’s the one to watch in my not so honest opinion.
• John Edwards was right
  • Hands are slammed upon tables in conservative households, blood pressures skyrocket.  Only 1% of the total have voted.  Iowa and New Hampshire don’t mean diddly.  Period.
• Is it Live, or is it Memorex?
  • Not sure yet if it’s about possibly electing a black or a woman yet…  I think at this point it’s more about “being a woman” than being black.  I think a lot of people still think a woman can’t be the CINC.  For me, Hillary scares the shit out of me.  She’s probably the toughest bastard inside the beltway.  I think I’d be more worried about other things on her agenda.  I think her policy with Al Qaeda would be “I am actually Satan” and it would work.  Terrorists respect honesty and are afraid of “de debbil.”
• James Carville was right.
  • Lightning crashes, and small animals are tortured.  “Economy, Stupid.”  People don’t care so much about the war anymore.  They do care that the prices for EVERYTHING has jumped without corresponding increases in income. Tell me how you’re gonna put more money in my pocket (and less in yours) and you have my vote.
• Fred Thompson actually died three years ago.
  • The same evil puppeteer that handles Keith Richards and Ted Kennedy has control of the former Senator and TV District Attorney.  What else could be the cause of such a lackluster performance?
• Hillary has opportunities for America.
  • I’m sure she meant to say “I see so many opportunities for America” not “I have so many…”  But, if she does have opportunities for us, please share before the election.  Opportunities should not be withheld as a bribe for votes.  I didn’t appreciate how Sean Hannity characterized her “moment.”  Dammit he makes conservatives look bad.  Whether his opinion is correct or not, he’s just plain arrogant and downright mean.  I wish Rush would take the boy down a couple notches.

That’s all for now.  Take some deep breaths, and repeat your mantra….

Ruuuuuuddddddyyyyy.  Ruuuuuudddddyyyyy.

BTW.  Some fun for you to see how closely you are aligned to the candidates.  I hit closest to Rudy.  Guess my ambivalency on some issues makes me a closet liberal.